jumper_on: (hot maknae is hot)

normally, i would find this funny as hell but i just found out that super junior is performing in manila in april and i won't be able to be there.

i mean. it's freaking stormtroopers. dancing to sorry, sorry. this should be AWESOME.

ugh i am so depressed.



jumper_on: (emo boy eita)
i have a lot of feelings about the whole jaebum controversy. i am saddened. confused. appalled. but mostly, i am grateful. in the way that people are grateful when something that had any amount of an impact on their life (an event, a person, a korean boy band) is suddenly over. i'm not saying that 2pm is over but in some way it is, at least 2pm as we knew it with jaebum as leader. but despite all of that, i still have this huge hope in my chest that he'd come back. and if when that happens, a lot of people would support him and lend him strength and give him love. and i don't think jaebum knows that so i wanted to tell him. even if it is just through a tiny piece of paper that may or may not reach him. so today, my sister and i braved the rain and went to 31st street to do just that.

EDIT: eunhyuk's cyworld entry about jaebum made me cry. i love that kid sfm. :(

EDIT EDIT: i just realized that my eita icon from long ago is surprisingly appropriate. it says "sad" and it's got tiny little squares on it that look like post-its. it's a conspiracy. :(

jumper_on: (emo boy eita)
(this is a repost of my reply to [livejournal.com profile] goldengutgirl 's insightful and heartfelt post about kibum over here. i've had a couple beers so forgive the rambling this is incoherent because i was replying to important points ayisse has made in her post and would you look at that i just linked her post twice what the fuck)

long reply is long
first off, *huuuuuuuugs you* because we are exactly the same in how we love and because that's exactly what i would do if i were in the philippines. not just to comfort you but to comfort myself as well. i totally understand what you said about wanting to reach out to them but not being able to and about being basically alone, despite there being other fans to talk to about this. so imagine what it feels like NOT to have other people to talk to. it sucks being so far away from friends, especially friends who know and understand what the fuck i'm being all mopey about. you're all i've got ayisse. and i miss you. :(

so i've been having drunken philosophical discussions with myself (because i'm pathetic like that and we have beer at home) and it hurts my brain to think about this issue and all its implications. and i'm just a fan. i can't imagine how this issue is affecting everyone in suju. OMG EXPECIALLY EETEUK. my heart breaks for that boy. i wouldn't be surprised if the next super junior issue would be about him being addicted to antidepressants or something.

if kibum HAS decided that he wants out and they're only waiting for the right time to reveal it (to the rest of the group?) to the public, it must be difficult for the people who know about it (i.e. kibum and probably eeteuk) because they're keeping things from everyone. they have to live with themselves knowing that they're not being completely honest with everyone. the truth fucking hurts and the fact that they have to keep that truth to themselves must hurt even harder.

i think that whatever happens to kibum, even if he decides (or if SM decides for him) to leave the group, i don't think it would affect the friendships he's formed with super junior. sure they'd probably be angry or sad at first but at the end of the day, kibum is FAMILY and they love him and want for him to pursue his dreams, just as they are pursuing theirs, whether it's with super junior or not.

i don't understand why all these so-called fans have to bash kibum for this. i mean he's probably having a hard enough time without all the hate being thrown his way from millions of people he doesn't even know. it's like that whole "only 13" craziness, only this time instead of fans hating on SM for wanting to add members, they're hating on a member for not being around (or for wanting to be taken out?), forcing the group to NOT be exactly 13. it's insane. it's just a fucking number.

sure it would be sad if kibum leaves. i mean. it's kibum. leaving super junior. okay i don't know what i was supposed to say after this. omg it would be so fucking sad.

oh right. i'll support him no matter what. *cries*

*reposts this in my journal*

*cries some more* ayiiiiiiisse... :'(

omg did i tell you how i've been depressed about super junior even before this whole kibum not being in super show 2 issue came out because of eeteuk and how he's getting old and he'd have to go be in the army in two years, and how for 7 or 8 years after that super junior won't be complete because all the other members would have to serve their 2 years in the army too so there's a fucking monumental probability that suju would break up in the next couple years? it saddens the fuck out of me. :'(

jumper_on: (emo boy eita)
last night, my dreams of watching arashi with my sister (who is more of a korean pop culture fan and hence wasn't really a fan of arashi until i convinced her to come with me on this trip and now she's almost as big a fangirl as i am) on september 5 in tokyo have been shattered. curse you travelocity.com for suddenly doubling the price for airfare!!! bottomline: we didn't save up enough money. and we are really depressed because we've been planning for this trip for two months. our mom (who ridicules our love for arashi and everything japanese, our mom who rolls her eyes when she hears an arashi song from the computer or even when she hears anything resembling the japanese language on tv, our mom who is completely and utterly against us going to japan) even drove us to barnes and noble yesterday to buy a tokyo train/street map. we even learned a couple of useful phrases from a wonderful wonderful book called "MAKING OUT IN JAPANESE" for use just in case we hook up with a couple of idols during our stay there. we even researched about how to get to aiba's restaurant in chiba and we already know what were gonna order and what message we were gonna write on the "TO MASAKI-CHAN" guestbook.  two months of intensive planning and research down the drain. because we're poor. *forlorn*

so we decided to cheer ourselves up by listing down all the (lame) pros of not going to japan in september.

1. we could save up for next year's 10th anniversary concert. that way, we'd have more money to spend on concert goods and clothes and food and hotels and we could even save up for front row seats  for the concert. also we could extend our stay to two weeks instead of the 5-day trip we planned for september.

2. the concert on september is gonna be held outdoors. and aiba said in music station that he was worried about the night damp and the holes in the stage. we don't wanna  watch aiba slipping around on stage and falling into holes when we watch the concert. plus my sister wanted to watch matsujun moonwalk on the ceiling of tokyo dome or whatever the hell matsujun comes up with next that requires the use of some suspension cables and a ceiling. we don't wanna get wet in case it rains. we wanna watch fight song performed by arashi while bouncing around on bungee cords attached to the dome. we wanna watch arashi under a ceiling. period. so we are gonna wait for next year's concert.

3. we prefer straight-haired aiba (like in the truth pv) to curly aiba. and if we were gonna watch on september, aiba would still be in his curly phase so we are gonna wait for next year's concert.

 4. the chances of them performing the song A.Ra.Shi is higher next year because it will be their tenth anniversary and surely their debut song would be included on the song list. so we're gonna wait for next year's concert.

5. we could learn more useful phrases from "Making Out in Japanese" for use  just in case we hook up with a couple of idols during our stay there.  

we couldn't think of any more reasons. all of the ones we gave are pretty lame anyway. we were just trying to cheer ourselves up. and it wasn't really working. and we knew it. so we decided to just cry our pathetic selves to sleep.

before i turned in for the night, i watched arashi's music lover performance of the song "Oh Yeah" which, until Truth came out, was my favorite arashi song ever. and i remembered how this morning when my sister and i were watching the real-time performance on keyhole, we were waving our hands in the air like the fangirls in the audience and we were saying how in a couple of weeks we would be doing this in an actual arashi concert. and it broke my heart that we weren't going. and i didn't even have the energy to finish the song. i just turned off the computer and sobbed.

i am so sad. :'(


jumper_on: (Default)

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