you are my star

EDIT: eunhyuk's cyworld entry about jaebum made me cry. i love that kid sfm. :(

EDIT EDIT: i just realized that my eita icon from long ago is surprisingly appropriate. it says "sad" and it's got tiny little squares on it that look like post-its. it's a conspiracy. :(

last night, my dreams of watching arashi with my sister (who is more of a korean pop culture fan and hence wasn't really a fan of arashi until i convinced her to come with me on this trip and now she's almost as big a fangirl as i am) on september 5 in tokyo have been shattered. curse you travelocity.com for suddenly doubling the price for airfare!!! bottomline: we didn't save up enough money. and we are really depressed because we've been planning for this trip for two months. our mom (who ridicules our love for arashi and everything japanese, our mom who rolls her eyes when she hears an arashi song from the computer or even when she hears anything resembling the japanese language on tv, our mom who is completely and utterly against us going to japan) even drove us to barnes and noble yesterday to buy a tokyo train/street map. we even learned a couple of useful phrases from a wonderful wonderful book called "MAKING OUT IN JAPANESE" for use just in case we hook up with a couple of idols during our stay there. we even researched about how to get to aiba's restaurant in chiba and we already know what were gonna order and what message we were gonna write on the "TO MASAKI-CHAN" guestbook.  two months of intensive planning and research down the drain. because we're poor. *forlorn*

so we decided to cheer ourselves up by listing down all the (lame) pros of not going to japan in september.

1. we could save up for next year's 10th anniversary concert. that way, we'd have more money to spend on concert goods and clothes and food and hotels and we could even save up for front row seats  for the concert. also we could extend our stay to two weeks instead of the 5-day trip we planned for september.

2. the concert on september is gonna be held outdoors. and aiba said in music station that he was worried about the night damp and the holes in the stage. we don't wanna  watch aiba slipping around on stage and falling into holes when we watch the concert. plus my sister wanted to watch matsujun moonwalk on the ceiling of tokyo dome or whatever the hell matsujun comes up with next that requires the use of some suspension cables and a ceiling. we don't wanna get wet in case it rains. we wanna watch fight song performed by arashi while bouncing around on bungee cords attached to the dome. we wanna watch arashi under a ceiling. period. so we are gonna wait for next year's concert.

3. we prefer straight-haired aiba (like in the truth pv) to curly aiba. and if we were gonna watch on september, aiba would still be in his curly phase so we are gonna wait for next year's concert.

 4. the chances of them performing the song A.Ra.Shi is higher next year because it will be their tenth anniversary and surely their debut song would be included on the song list. so we're gonna wait for next year's concert.

5. we could learn more useful phrases from "Making Out in Japanese" for use  just in case we hook up with a couple of idols during our stay there.  

we couldn't think of any more reasons. all of the ones we gave are pretty lame anyway. we were just trying to cheer ourselves up. and it wasn't really working. and we knew it. so we decided to just cry our pathetic selves to sleep.

before i turned in for the night, i watched arashi's music lover performance of the song "Oh Yeah" which, until Truth came out, was my favorite arashi song ever. and i remembered how this morning when my sister and i were watching the real-time performance on keyhole, we were waving our hands in the air like the fangirls in the audience and we were saying how in a couple of weeks we would be doing this in an actual arashi concert. and it broke my heart that we weren't going. and i didn't even have the energy to finish the song. i just turned off the computer and sobbed.

i am so sad. :'(